There's no guarantees, but I'm not alone

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret

I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace w/ myself

I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long, I'm movin' on....

At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me

And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone

I'm cutting my friend's list on facebook. It isn't that I want to hurt anyone's feelings or that I don't care about them anymore, it's just time to let go of my old life. I'm *trying* to cut ties, but it's something that I have to do gradually. I can't keep exposing myself to things/people that are connected to past memories. Maybe in years to come things might be different, but for right now I have to do what's best for me as well as for Chris and I. It's horrible enough that a day doesn't go by that I don't say the ex's name for some reason or another. It absolutely blows. I wish I had memories to talk about that didn't include him. UGH. I can't wait until the majority of my memories are about things that Chris and I have done, ext. 

Life is what you make out of it.

♪ ♫ ♪ i didn't know that i would love you like i do i didn't think that i was ready to

but there's something about the way you take my hand, it's like i never touched a man

and it's a beautiful thing you make me shy and  you make me proud

it's a beautiful thing you make me laugh out loud and when you pull me to you I unravel

i didn't know that love would fill me up so good i tried before but then you know it never would

but there's something about the way you call my name, now I'll never feel the same   ♪ ♫ ♪

What choices do we have in relating to life? What are the three positions to relate to life? Imagine life like a fast flowing river, where you can see the white foam on top of the waves. In this fast flowing river, you have three choices.

The first alternative is trying to swim upstream in opposition to the flow of the river. The second alternative is trying to hold on to a static position in the river by grabbing on to a branch of a tree, which hangs down over the river. The third alternative is simply relaxing and allowing us to be carried by the flow of the river wherever it takes us.

The Fall.

♪ ♫ ♪  feels like reckless driving when we're talking
it's fun while it lasts, and it's faster than walking,
but no one's going to sympathize when we crash
they'll say "you hit what you head for, you get what you ask"
and we'll say we didn't know, we didn't even try
one minute there was road beneath us, the next just sky

i'm sorry i can't help you, i cannot keep you safe
i'm sorry i can't help myself, so don't look at me that way
we can't fight gravity on a planet that insists
that love is like falling and falling is like this  ♪ ♫ ♪

sometimes lines get blurred; crossed.

what is it you do when you were already so close to falling.. 

there you were, teetering on the brink of the unknown..

then all of a sudden you close your eyes and take that leap.

i'm scared. i've opened myself up for more than i planned.

We don't buy no drinks at the bar

we pop champagne cuz we got that dough
let me hear you say aah (aah aah aah aah)
say aah (aah aah aah aah)
go girl, its your birthday
open wide i know your thirsty

jenna put together some drinks-
for her & the boy of her's

She believes she's got it all

she swears the moon don't hang quite as high as it used to and she only sleeps when its raining
and she screams, and her voice is straining and she says baby it's 3am I must be lonely
when she says baby well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes
she says the rain's gonna wash away I believe it
she believes that life is made up of all that you're used to
and the clock on the wall has been stuck at 3 for days, and days

the fact that it's past 3am got the song in my head. i really should be trying to get to sleep right about now, but i'll put it off.. until... until. sleep doesn't come easily to me, it never has, but lately that on top of my sinusitis is kicking my butt. luckily i was able to drop the temp. in the house this morning and actually get some sleep for about three hours. i despise having a stuffy nose. when i lay down it's all that i can think about. i start to focus on swallowing, or my lack of swallowing that is - it's impossible because i have no air flow in my nostrils, thus my mouth is my only form of breathing - once this begins i have the urge to swallow continuously and i end up gasping for air because low and behold when i'm swallowing i'm not breathing! it makes for a hellacious night. now mind you i do suffer from sleep apnea, but at least i'm not aware of that for the most part - it never wakes me up fully anymore.

our rooster... tangible? ohhh yes...
because sometimes i'd like to "touch" him
all right and ring his stinking neck, he's MEAN.

Then you call me, call me in

you think I am your possession, you´re messing with a southern girl
but my recipe is on with your stale bread, yeah it´s hot

why do i start things, but then leave them without finishing?

i rarely ever manage to stick with things. it's depressing however thrilling when i actually stick it out and do what i began to do in the first place. hey, i did get around to finishing my 100 movies in less than a year last year! i told myself i would do it again this year too, but as you can tell that was a huge fail. i never even started. i think i got halfway through the 365 project ... don't even get me started on 100 things, did i even get 10 of them done!?! at least there's not a time limit on it and i can just keep adding...! oh, and my 101 in 1001 days.. yeah, didn't get that done either. why the rambling about all of this? well, i'm at it again.. i want to do a picture meme for each day of the week. obviously i won't do it every day, but i'd like to do it at least a few times a week! i also want to cook a different recipe each night for the entire month of june.

1. Macro Monday
2. Tangible Tuesday
3. Words of Wednesday
4. Thirsty Thursday
5. F???? Friday
6. S???? Saturday
7. Soulful Sunday

BTW, did i ever mention that i now have all the parts to my nikon D70? i'm so in love! ♥