Tuesday, December 28, 2010

My day of thanks.

December 28th. Eight years ago on this day I was a huge jumble of emotions. Excited, scared terrified and nervous. One minute I wanted to back out, the next minute I couldn't wait. I had alot of doubts, but just brushed them off to cold feet - 'cause everybody gets cold feet, right? That was my way of justifying it. Justifying what? Marrying someone that I knew in my soul didn't love me nearly as much as I loved him. However after years of still feeling that, my love died and my soul was following. I watched myself turn into someone that even I didn't love. So, it only seems fitting that today I will give thanks. 
Thank you for letting me go. Thank you for never loving me enough. Thank you for giving up on me. Thank you for always making me feel that every little thing I said or did got on your nerves. Thank you for not telling me every day how much you loved me. See, love said, but not shown is just hollow words. Thank you for getting so angry at me so much. Thank you for not understanding me. Thank you for everything you did and didn't do. Thank you for making me feel crazy. Thank you for pushing me away. Thank you for continuously bringing up things I did when I was an immature teenager. Thank you for holding on long enough so that I could really open up my eyes to what my life had become. Thank you, because without any of the past seven (plus two) years then I wouldn't be able to truly appreciate what a wonderful, loving man I have now.

On that note, here is my thanks to my husband, Chris, the other half of my being, the man that God created for me to share my life with. Thank you for understanding me, for knowing my thoughts and feelings and why they are the way that they are. Thank you for loving me, for showing me every second of every day and sometimes telling me twice that amount. Thank you for loving my ideas. Thank you for enjoying our conversations, even when I come up with some pretty silly things sometimes. Thank you for accepting and loving every aspect of who I am even during the times when we don't agree on things. Thank you for always respecting me. Thank you for your effort to be the best husband and man you can be, you exceed this daily! Thank you for being YOU. Thank you for your love. Thank you for being a man that is constantly seeking God and willing to do what it takes to truly live for Him. Thank you for sharing your life with me. I love you more than words will ever be able to express. Thank you for not only being my husband, but my best friend as well.


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